Rains, floods, humidity

It's 6pm and I'm stranded in office alone. The rain was so bad that I needed to check on my car, that I parked in the basement. 

I went down and the whole street was starting to flood. It was scary. Photos and videos of floodings and traffic started to be forwarded all around in groups. It was so unsettling. 

Is it funny that my heart feels quieter when the world is in a chaos? At least, I only have to focus on the mess out there. 

The flood receded and the rain got slightly better. No replies from him yet either. 

I woke up this morning and I meditated for five minutes. It was good to have some peace. 

And yet, I still cried. The thought just came in right away without notice. 

I think I will never be good enough for the people I like. 

I know, I know. It's not true. I can find a hundred other reasons to rebut myself. I just wished it stops haunting me here and there, once in a while. I hate it. 

I should stop falling for people that make me feel little in front of. 

I drove to office this morning. All was well, except I cried a little. 

Just a little, though. I was proud of myself. 

The day was packed. I had a lot of meetings and tasks, and I drank way too much coffee to settle down my heart rate. And it started raining. I decided to stay back until the traffic got better. 

All my other colleagues went home, and I was left alone in the empty office. This is where it hit me. 

Just like the flood, the feelings came in waves. They tiptoed to me quietly and lured me to tap into it. 

I did it and it became what it is now. The flood out of the office went away but I am now drenched in tears inside.  

Dude, can't you just text me back? Just give me the false hope to get through all this. 

I am not only stranded alone in the office after all.